reality shape-shifts into nightmare poison. fluffy togetherness hope dropped off in a heartbeat of darkness thus i am abandoned and searching. the never-ending hallway of ignored possibilities and answers because i'm striving for that big glass door at the end already but behind it lies fear and lies. why does there have to be a part one and a part two. i want only part ones. with smiles and hand holding and giggly kisses and sprinkler fun. to always break down brick walls and flip off the stifling of self. i am me, you are you, we are us, i love you, it is fine. words in threes. make me bleed. ways and means. ball of yarn. on your knees. pray for me. pray for me. bad dreams and bad schemes. my brain is a bad scene. through misery you find the value of a smile but i'd rather the good dream stayed and the nightmare took a hike. it's worse to start in sunshine and watch the clouds roll in to devastate you rather than be in pain but hopeful. stop to breath and take look at your life, those storm clouds are coming for you baby. i am serpentine, but only on wednesdays. loving undulation but afraid of undulation. afraid to sleep that's for fucking sure. this is what insomnia does. my eyes were always this black but i paint my toes sparkly pink sometimes. spink parkles. my soul just twitched. and that is your cryptic sentiment for the day from that girl lost in darkness. i can dream of gingerbread but only if the maker is dead. i want my head to be puppies and stars and shit. maybe i need somewhere else to be, even if it's only an hour or two. i don't need invitations into my problems. if i knew what i did need i could say it in lieu of spewing long-winded cryptic. fuck, it's early enough for smurfs. or saved by the bell. here's hoping tv is still cool this early even though the 90's rocked harder. goodnight, parting is such sweet & sour sauce.