I Like To Switch It Up And You Like To Not Notice

I don’t believe in god and I don’t believe in you. Force eyeliner to be the line tears can’t cross and dress in costume just like yesterday and tomorrow. Still I wish on fallen eyelashes, isn’t that amazing? You don’t know that care that carry that. I am not a page deserving of a dog-ear. And god’s ears are deaf, your prayers and mine both fall to their deaths. You won’t even read this until later when you care about everything that is me only because I’ve vanished. You should care about everything that is me while I’m here. There, I said it. You should, and fuck you for not. Fuck you. Fuck your glossed-over attention to nothing important at all and your lack of action. I have survived totally on my own without your help. Without you. And yet when I think of a world without you I ache and I can’t imagine it. Call me selfish all you want but I’m still here, and I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be here, but I am for you. I can’t leave this world because you’re still in it. Irony at its most suspicious. You’ll read this and think it’s not for you. But it is. Whoever reads this, it’s for you, and it’s for me. Because there is someone who needs you right fucking now and you don’t answer their phone calls, you don’t return their messages, you don’t ask how their day was. I don’t need a babysitter I need a friend who would bleed for me like I would for them. You envelope yourself in selfish complacency like every other adult droid scanning the planet for sex and television to pass the time. I know this is not all there is but it is all I have ever known. I want to know something else. I’d tear out every eyelash and spread them like beloved ashes in the name of change. Please. For the love of